[Satirical opinion] GNU Social: How an attention whore turned a hippie social network into an ordinary social network.

In a place on the web, whose name I don't want to remember, a free and decentralized platform called StatusNet emerged not long ago, whose main node identi.ca used to cradle several hippies who wanted a free twitter.

In 2013, identi.ca leaves for the newly created pump.io and StatusNet becomes GNU Social. That same year, scores of hippies began to adopt such networks (along with diaspora and others) mostly because of the Snowden revelations.

Yet it seemed that only the hippies wanted to join in, because they were the only ones concerned with freedom and privacy. The others were more than comfortable in their centralized networks with their thousands of followers, their family and close friends, their games, their public bullshit, their photos of their body parts, etc.

Until the day of the GNU / Mufa finally arrived. Tuesday, January 13, 2015.

That day a pen and napkin poetess and an opinion from the twitterer bar calling herself @barbijaputa, came across a rather offensive tweet from @isaacj about keeping hepatitis c patients. @barbijaputa shared the capture of that tweet and "returned the insult" and after a while she received an email from twitter saying that her account was suspended ... ... for sharing an offensive tweet that was not even hers (and with the intention of responding the grievance). Then, both on his blog (they have to press the stop button to read it, it has a plugin that runs in a loop) and in the critical area of eldiario.es (where she also collaborated) began to complain as if she were the bastard daughter of Violencia Rivas and the Tano Pasman they had on a night of hard passion. That the censorship policy is bullshit, that the sale of private data is other bullshit, that @isaacj is bullshit for being a faithful follower of Intereconomía, etc.

Among the commentators who supported her, there were at least one or two hippies suggesting that she try free webs (just as the Islamic State gave diaspora a good try). And he liked the idea. They even mentioned a GNU Social node called quitter.

After joining said network, the node began to receive an avalanche of followers joining in the same node quitter.se. Suddenly loads of media were saying headlines like "Quitter, this is the uncensored and anti-capitalist Twitter" (seee, anarcobolches only, all because of the damn banner they say they wanted to abandon the capitalist centralized services). From Europapress to Russia Today, from El País to Intereconomía. Alberto Moshpirit, Adrian Perales, Victorhck and the entire staff of El Binario were pulling their hair out at so much misinformation, but at the same time they danced on one leg to the sound of the Danzas Hungaras de Brahms. A pissed-off twitterstar achieves in two fucking days what they wish they had achieved after months and months of patience and play.

Today, there is already a server Spanish, plus several already existing (this another list is more complete). Alberto also has written a number of useful links For the insider, while plans are brewing to irritate the facebook girl into moving to diaspora. @barbijaputa He got his twitter account back and now uses both of his accounts.

E @isaacj? We owe them at least thanks.

According to El País, you have to thank me for getting all the perroflautas to go to Quitter: http://t.co/qDp4d6XqnN #you're welcome

- Isaacj (@isaacj) January 17, 2015

THEY BARK SANCHOOOOOOOOOOOOO.