[HUMOR] Systemd vs Upstart, the debate played on Debian

Dear Linux users, we understand that everything is ready for this match in which Systemd and Upstart will be measured by the Debian Cup. The two initiates worked hard to achieve the great trophy of being the default init in the spiral distro. As we anticipated, the systemd team will consist of Bdale Garbee, Russ Allbery, Don Armstrong and Keith Packard, while the upstart team consists of Andreas Barth, Ian Jackson, Steve Langasek "The Langa" and Colin Watson. Will referee this match Paul Tagliamonte, whose jacket has six pockets. Surely to comfortably carry the cards you have prepared for the meeting. Attention. IT MOVES, IT MOVES. PLAY IT, PLAY IT, Systemd vs. Upstart for the Debian cup.

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He moved the ball Packard for the Poettering team. Garbee has it, leave it for Allbery. Advance with the ball, Langasek takes off very well. Jackson takes it. That's where Barth asks for it. Bad, and Allbery takes up. He plays it with Armstrong, a long pass for Garbee that does not arrive and is a side kick for Scott James Remnant's team.

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The upstarteros are attacking, Langa has it. Get up for Barth, he didn't understand. Armstrong takes it. Proceed along the long Garbee in the direction of the Allbery. Throw down the bass for Garbee. He loses it to Barth. Get Packard back. Back towards Armstrong, he's going to shoot. Threw? He didn't throw it away. He is getting ready to shoot. Threw? No, he didn't shoot this time either. The ball goes down the left sector, when there was an advanced position from Watson.

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5 minutes into the game, Sweet or Savory, JC?
Salty. Coach Poterin is still confident, but I wonder, Doesn't Messi play?
What are you doing Nepe here? Where is JC?
He is at home compiling the jentú quernel.
(lpmqtp I have to bank it as a commentator) Well, thanks for letting me know. Play the game, tie 0-0.

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Watson has the ball, pick up the ball. To Packard's head hit. Press Barth. The Garbee escapes. Attack the systemd team. Change Jackson to the left for Allbery. Attention. Danger. The archer lifts disoriented center. March Barth, good there. The counterattack is coming, Watson goes, Watson sends a high pass for Jackson who is ahead. Hand-in-hand with the goalkeeper ... yes, no, yes, no, yes, no ... yes, yes, yes!Goooooooooooooooooooooal! Goool. Goool, Goool, Goool from the Upstart. Jackson receiving a long assist from Watson eludes Armstrong and slowly shoves the ball into the acute angle. Systemd 0, Upstart 1. Ian Jackson.

Watson sent the great Oliver Atom with that assistance. Interesting fact: Did you know that the Supercampeones field was 15 kilometers long?

He is going to replace systemd but referee Tagliamonte stops the game for a moment because there is an invasion of the court from a spectator.

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They tell me it's about Thorsten glaser who wants to interrupt the match and abandon sysvinit. The spectator protests and the referee is showing him a yellow card. He does not want to understand reasons and there is a red card for him. He is expelled from the stadium, but it seems that the angry spectator does not want to withdraw. Attention. The referee takes him a black card and a security mantainer is preparing his weapon to carry out the capital punishment handed down by referee Tagliamonte, against Thorsten Glaser. The stadium priest approaches to apply extreme unction.

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Not at all Nepe. Follow the game while the court personnel receive the defenseless body of the executed spectator. The systemd team is playing with 11 men. 0 x 1 indicates the closet. Langa leads by right, Garbee removes well but it is a free kick for the opposing team.

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Langa is going to finish off and the men of the barrier cover their private parts.

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There is a corner kick for Upstart when the scoreboard is indicating 4 for Canonical, but for Red Hat it is surely a mistake, because so far the referee only decreed a single conquest.

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The upstart fans go crazy celebrating. We have Fer Nepe interviewing Marcos, leader of the Upstartera barrabrava.

-How does this result affect Boca, I mean Upstart?
-That we will have a valuable helping hand to improve Upstart if it is tested in another distro. We have to win, they have all sidelined us, all of us (beeeep) Intel, Grasslin, Stallman, Red Hat and (beep), AND MY OLD MAN WHO MADE ME A BIG OF UBUNTU, And (beep). FUCK !!
- ………… we return with Diazepan

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There is a goal kick for Upstart that Watson will take. He leaves it for Barth, combination on the right for Langa. He plays it with Jackson, remarkable. The long ball comes for the line that does not arrive, Garbee has it. Attention. Dangerous expectation. Backlash when absolutely nothing happened. And it is again a goal kick for the side that wears violet jackets.

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Goooooooooooooooooal, goal, goal, goal from systemd. Great play by Allbery who shot 9 tenths of the court, when the scoreboard is indicating 1 x 1 in favor of a tie. The ball now bounces off Josselin Mouette (that player came out of nowhere), the goalkeeper goes to mark it.

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Referee Tagliamonte indicates a favorable coach to the front row Lucas Nussbaum. Armstrong threw. The one for Barth, marked behind Packard. Mouette is advancing. There are good chances for the systemderos, raise the center ...

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Then the line that was indicating the forward position of goalkeeper Watson complains ...

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Attention, dangerous move. There is a free kick over the edge of the Lennart team's area ...

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No, I don't want to travel Gonzalez. Please let me speak. It has the spherical. Violent Mouette rejects. Cover Packard, protect the ball. Returns with interest for Armstrong. Take off Jackson well. Lennart's team is playing with 10 men and one woman.

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Advance Jackson playing with Barth. Dangerous game, the player has a pornographic background. He is standing on the horizontal of the archer systemdero. There is a lack of clarity in the rival attack and yet Langa finishes off and is a goal. gooooooooool, goal, goal, goal of the Upstart team. Langalangalangalangalangatangalanga. And just the technical director Remnant is compiling the code of the representative play.

Horley clocks give the time, and from this moment the continuation of this match will be broadcast in Binario.

1010011 1110100 1100001 1101100 1101100 1101101 1100001 1101110 101110 100000 1001100 1100001 100000 1100011 1101111 1101110 1100011 1101000 1100001 100000 1100100 1100101 100000 1110100 1110101 100000 1110010 1100101 1101101 1101001 1101100 1110000 1110101 1110100 11000011 10101101 1110011 1101001 1101101 1100001 100000 1101101 1100001 1100100 1110010 1100101 100000 1110001 1110101 1100101 100000 1110100 1100101 100000 1110000 1100001 1110010 1101001 11000011 10110011 101110 100000 1000110 1101111 1110010 1110010 1101111 100000 1101000 1101001 1110000 1110000 1101001 1100101 100000 1100100 1100101 100000 1101101 1101001 1100101 1110010 1100100 1100001 101110 100000 1010110 1101001 1110110 1100001 100000 1000010 1010011 1000100 101110 100000 1000111 1101111 1101100 100000 1100100 1100101 100000 1110011 1111001 1110011 1110100 1100101 1101101 1100100 101110 100000 1001100 1101111 100000 1101101 1100101 1110100 1101001 11000011 10110011 100000 1000100 1101111 1101110 100000 1000001 1110010 1101101 1110011 1110100 1110010 1101111 1101110 1100111 101110 100000 1010110 1101111 1101100 1110110 1100101 1101101 1101111 1110011 100000 1100001 100000 1101110 1110101 1100101 1110011 1110100 1110010 1100001 100000 1110100 1110010 1100001 1101110 1110011 1101101 1101001 1110011 1101001 11000011 10110011 1101110 100000 1100101 1101110 100000 1110011 1110100 1110010 1101001 1101110 1100111 1110011 100000 1100100 1100101 100000 1100011 1100001 1110010 1100001 1100011 1110100 1100101 1110010 1100101 1110011 101110 XNUMX XNUMX XNUMX XNUMX XNUMX XNUMX XNUMX XNUMX XNUMX XNUMX XNUMX XNUMX

They inform us that a change is coming. Sale Armstrong, author of systemd's second goal and they are doing warm-up drills to enter players Mathias Klump and John Paul Adrian Gaublitz. When the placard is indicating 2 to 2 in these first 45 days of play. Cold or hot Nepe?

Hotter than Mate in Paraguayan summer, like the one that Riquelme takes in his linumint.

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The ball is in the hands of shuttle Garbee. The referee charges hand. That's where Mathias Klump just entered. Throw low for Gaublitz. Open game. It's only Barth on the left. He claims the ball, they don't give it to him, when Josselin Mouette remained but there is a violation. Jackson was badly parked and it's a free throw for Lennart Poettering's team.

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Gaublitz made cash. He rejects the partnership of fists of the starting goalkeeper Watson. Delivery for the substitute goalkeeper to the goalkeeper game, well to the Brazilian style touch. Look for the ball Jackson, he wants to unlevel. Allbery approaches. He is negotiating the ball. We cannot see the numbers that are at stake. He lifted center passed by right but it was all invalid due to degenerate possession of Keith Packard.

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Attention. There is going to be a change in the upstart team. Cameron Norman is coming in. Watson is in the post but he does not abandon the fight because he assumes the leadership of the midfield. He's second to Norman. Mouette advances with the ball, Langasek removes the defender. Mouette continues to advance but now without the ball. Attention. Heading in the semicircle, not seen by the goalkeeper, Gol. Goal, goal from systemd. The upstart goalkeeper did not see the ball, because he found it in the center circle in the possession of his team. But the referee Tagliamonte barulla "Of all the game, it is the tedious play of Mouette." He scored a goal without the ball and Systemd is winning by 1 to 0. The placard for his part, indicates 3 goals against 2 in favor of the opposing team.

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The game goes 3 to 3. Goals from Allbery Armstrong and Packard for systemd, goals from Jackson, Langasek and Barth for Upstart. He is playing systemd with 10 men and one woman….

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No, Gonzalez. Let me continue, I am not looking for Debian bearings. Watson has the ball. Take away Garbee. Garbee follows with the ball, goes backwards. He entered his side's area. Avoid goalkeeper Glaubitz. It looks like you are turning against your own fence. There is amazement in the stands that are completely deserted. Attention. There is a situation and it is a goal. Goal, goal, goal by Bdale Garbee but against. We had anticipated it. We had guessed the intention of the forward, who surely due to his financial constraints, had to accept a donation from Canonical's coffers. Mathias Klump goes to replace, when the referee indicates with his hands, that they are running 75 seconds of the second half and 43 of the first.

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You are now playing Upstart with 7 men and 3 Martians. The first line looks at the worksheet to verify that there are no family relationships. Watson is attacking. He left, the lock Garbee, he is perfectly enabled, attention, Garbee finishes, and the ball is lost in the middle of the arc and it is serve from the center of the field for Upstart.

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Last minutes of the game, systemd is winning by a slight advantage. 4 x 4 is the match. Arithmetic does not work on this match.

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Time served, line Lucas Nussbaum, who took upstart's side, has the ball. Discounts are being played. There Stefano Zacchiroli took off, replacing Packard. The ball hits DT Lennart's head. Attention. It seems that his glasses fell off, when the placard is indicating a constitution of the currency favorable to the local market.

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The DT Lennart continues to have problems with his glasses, they seem to have been broken. But right now the whistle is sounding, terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ended the game when there was simultaneously a goal situation in the area of ​​both fences. There is lengthening with a golden goal. THE LAWS OF FIFA DO NOT GOVERN HERE.

We are listening to what Lennart is saying to his players.

-Boys and girls. Put a little more egg. We have a thousand times better designed init and it doesn't have a fucking contribution license like Canonical's that steals our copyright. This is how we got to Fedora. This is how we got to Opensuse. This is how we got to Arch and its derivatives. This is how we got to Red Hat, and this is how we are going to get to Debian. Those of Ubuntu are stick. To the Open Source Tea Party (as the space tourist told us) it is not stopped by even the most stale of that UNIX philosophy. Let's go up systemd.

Encouraging words from the German coach to his team. He is going to start, he moves, he moves, the definition of a golden goal is played. I'm only with Gonzalez, since I sent Fer Nepe to / dev / null.

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Start attacking systemd. Allbery to Glaubitz, goes to Mouette, long pass to Stefano. Intercept Barth, freak. There is a counterattack similar to the one that led to the first ubuntero goal. Jackson is near the area, advances dangerously GOES TO REMAT… ..hahaha he collided with the referee Tagliamonte and began to argue with him.

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While goes Bdale Garbee he runs with the ball while Jackson is arguing with the referee. Those of upstart are immobile watching Jackson and Garbee goes to the rival goal. Ta close, ta close, ta close, ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta ... Goooooool, Gooooooooooooool, Gooooooooooooooooooooool by Systemd. Tagliamonte says nothing and finally gives the game. SYSTEMD CHAMPION, SYSTEMD CHAMPION, SYSTEMD CHAMPION OF THE DEBIAN CUP. SYSTEMD WILL BE THE INIT BY DEFAULT IN DEBIAN GNU / LINUX, STARTING FROM JESSIE. ALL THANKS TO BDALE GARBEE. Ian Jackson is now chasing him, quilombo was armed. THERE IS A CAMPAL BATTLE. Ian Jackson wanted to beat up Garbee and Tagliamonte for playing the game. Police reinforcements arrive. Regrettable. The Langa hitting Mouette. Glaser laughing from the grave. Anyway. That's it. For our part, we say goodbye until next week, when the Gnome Bears will have to face the K Dragons.

This comparison was narrated by Diazepan, the drug that affects action on the field of play with its effects.

This has been it, folks.

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Come on Gonzalez, it's getting late.

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Come on, give him, we lose the bus, che.

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I'm leaving, look, I'm leaving you alone.

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Gonzalez, enough.

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Don't you understand that they already cut the transmission?

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Bye.

Bye Bye. It will be until next week. Temporary feeling, see you later.